Monday, February 15, 2016

If I Could Watch Movies For The Rest Of My Life...

Again, honestly I didn't take too many notes this week. This was probably due to the immense heat, indoor and out. Yes, you read that right: our thermostat said 80 degrees today. I'm mostly the saddest that Twin Emily - Twemily, if you will, got sent home. She was on my fantasy team. Now I've only got Lauren B left. To be fair, Twemily needed to go home, Ben's mom legitimately burst into tears at the prospect of Twem bearing her grandchildren... 

Ben is waving to strangers, driving through Warsaw right now, at the beginning of this episode. He seriously knows no one there. I don't know why he told Lauren B they were at "his place." The guy lives in Denver. And no 26 year old software salesman has a place in Denver AND owns a place in Warsaw.

This post is dedicated to a one Mark Norman. I went to church with Mark when I lived in Miami, and he's just the greatest guy. And he laughs at my jokes, That's always an immense plus. AND HE'S FROM WARSAW, INDIANA. He definitely knows more people in this town than Ben does.

Apparently the only thing for the girls to do there is throw leaves at each other. There aren’t even hotels here, they just have to stay with family friends. Becca is shocked that they are staying so close to his hometown, as opposed to 200 miles away, like they had to do in Iowa with Farmer Chris.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you... LIES THAT WERE TOLD ON THIS EPISODE:

1)  The kids TOTALLY remember Ben from when he used to work at the youth center.

2)  Lauren B knows who the Indiana Pacers are. 

3) Lauren B knows what basketball is. 

4) Lauren B hasn't had cheek fillers.

5) Twemily has a connection with Ben.

6)  JoJo knows how to use pronouns

7)  Ben is a die-hard Cubs fan. 

8) Ben has even heard of the Cubs.

9) Becca was NOT coached by the producers to draw answers out of the ladies in this group discussion.

10) JoJo is NOT scared right now. Or ever. 

11) The cobwebs on these dying flowers on the group date are romantic.

12) All the bachelorettes hate each other. They are crying tears of hatred for one another, right now.

13) Warsaw, Indiana is NOT the orthopedic capital of the world.

14)  I was NOT in the fetal position when Amanda and Ben went back behind the counter at McDonalds. 
Did you want fries with that?
15) Twemily got a one on one because she’s special, not because Ben wants to send her home.

16)  Twemily is WAAAAY younger than  than Caila, who is talking about her like she’s a “bright eyed puppy.” (Truth: she is one year younger. If that) 

ADRIENNE: I’m not sure I like Caila.

CAROLYN: I think I’d be friends with her.

GRACE: Yeah I’d want her to be in my group for a group project.

CAROLYN: Yeah. Cause she’s definitely intelligent.

GRACE: Oh she’d for sure read all the directions. Like, towards the end of the project I’d say, “Ok guys, we checked everything off the list!” And Caila would say “Well actually, page 3 of the directions say that we need to do this…” and I’d say, “That’s why I keep her around. She reads all the directions, people! I only read through the third paragraph.”

And THEN Caila said… “I picture myself as moss. I’m just looking for a tree to grow with…”

As I said... Sad to see Twemily go, just like I was sad to see Olivia go. You guys know I love the crazies. 
And Becca... We saw tears from Becca tonight, for the first time ever! I think that was the first time she's maybe ever cried in her life! She should definitely get some therapy. And cry some more tears. I will now show an image that I created for Clint, on Kaitlyn's season, but I was so ahead of my time that I'm pretty sure no one got the joke:
She'll be ready for Bachelor in Paradise in no time!

Other news: WHO IS STOKED to see JoJo's step brother Ben Patton on the hometown dates next week? (If you DIDN'T watch the short-lived run of "Ready For Love" (by executive producer Eva Longoria) on NBC (featuring hosts Bill and Giuliana Rancic, as well as love guru Matthew Hussey, Amber Kelleher-Andrews and Tracy McMillian, to name a few) IF YOU DIDN'T WATCH THIS SHOW THEN DON'T TALK TO ME. 
(But seriously. It was so good. It got pulled from the air about three episodes into the season, and they released each episode online every Tuesday night... You better BELIEVE Carolyn and I were in front of the computer every Tuesday night...)

Final word about next week: the clip of what appears to be Ben saying "I can't do this" as he gets in the car... I think they're stringing us along. I don't think that line was actually said there. Remember how Tiera fell down the stairs on Sean Lowe's season and in the previews they showed her being carried out on a stretcher, while they played the audio (from weeks later) where she was saying, "I can't believe they did this to me!" I think the Bachelor Editors are pulling one of those on us, here... 

If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

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