Monday, August 12, 2013

A Few Questions...


1) No-Bachelor Monday is almost as bad as terribly un-fresh cookies at Ralph’s. It is, therefore, that I post.

2) I am not an elitist. I need that to go on record. ‘Cause I don’t think I’m alone in remarking that Juan Pablo is GONNA HAVE SOME VERBAL FAUX PAS next season. I fear that it will appear that I am picking on him. This is not so. While I would go out of my way to avoid pointing out verbal faux pas of those in the leagues of a Bachelor Adonis or Venus, (see: Lesley Murphy, Reid Rosenthal, Sean Lowe, Frank Neuschafer, Catherine Giudici and Jillian Harris) I would not go out of my way to pick on a contestant. Unless it’s Tiara, the Tierrorist. It is, therefore, that I post.

3) I have a few questions. It is, therefore, that I shall review my biggest inquiries of the season, and post. Maybe I’ll consider this my set-list, if I were charged with interviewing Hare tomorrow. This is what I’d want to know:

a. What- WHAT did good ole Chris think, upon watching this season back and seeing Dez, AS EARLY AS GERMANY, saying she wanted a proposal from Brooks? Any objection to that, Topher?

b. Was Dez just so desperate for something to work out, after two whole seasons of heartbreak, that she just accepted Chris’s proposal? Don’t get me wrong: I would literally marry Chris yesterday. I think he’s fantastic. But I don’t think Dez was in love with him.
        I do think that if I were in Dez’s shoes, I would hear the murmurings of my parents in my subconscious, saying, “Well Hon, ABC has given up a lot for you, and you need to do the right thing and be grateful for the man with whom they have provided you. And be sure to put one of your name cards in those monogrammed handkerchiefs that you send to Chris Harrison and Mike Fleiss; they were expensive name cards and we want you to use them…”

c. Who were Reality Steve’s sources? How did he miss the boat on this one?

d. If Dez is so gung-ho about her parents’ relationship and her family life, why does she insist that she has been on her own since she was 18, and doesn’t go home very often, or very often receive support from her parents?

e. How is Drew’s modeling career working out? I’m not sure why, but something tells me it might be going something like this:

Sidenote: When looking for a sufficient picture, just now, I somehow (don’t ask me how) stumbled upon a family who dressed up as the many shades of Tobias Funke for Halloween:

You go, Glen Coco

f. At what point did Dez have to surrender the Bentley? (The car, not the guy) Why didn’t we see any poor artistic direction of that moment?

g. And finally, I think I said something to this effect around the Men Tell All, when Hare was falling all over himself to paint Whoo-an Pablo as a fan favorite, but… Is it just me, or does anyone else get the feeling that Mike Fleiss just kind of gave in and decided to “give the people what they want,” by making WP the next Bachelor? Don’t get me wrong: I do believe that the WP fans were the most vocal, but I just don’t believe that they were as far and widespread as BachelorNation would have us think…

Mitch Hurwitz went there. Grace just did, too. 

Until January… If you’re a bird, I’m a bird…

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