Have I told you guys how my mom used to take notes on shows when I was in high school? (Didn’t have DVR then, still don’t have it now.) She would watch Alias and The Bachelor when I was in rehearsal then give me a run down when I got home. TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK. You know how super fancy people have guest hosts of their podcasts? That’s what I’m doing today. Here is Gran Gran’s commentary and recap of the show, for your viewing pleasure…
ERIC...in Baltimore... Took Rachel to "good part first, bad part last.” Played some hoops, then sat on basketballs to talk. He has never brought home a girl. His best friend was impressed. He had no role models, so he had to "put his big boy pants" from an early age. Admits he puts up a front that says "I'm OK.” Met the fam in a swanky hotel. Mom asks what it's like to be first black Bachelorette. Eric said he was running from love. Did NOT tell her he loved her.
BRYAN... Met her in Domino Park, and they shared Cuban cuisine. Rachel is very nervous. Bryan’s old GF was threatened by his mom. Mom told Rachel that she would kill her if she broke his heart. Dead Serious. Bryan is a mama's boy. BUT he did tell her that he loved her. Big Daddy loved that this was in Miami and kept asking if you knew every person on the screen, if they were going to go to your church, or if they’d stop in Little Havana and see Allycat.
PETER... Isn’t ready yet??!! Mercy. His friends loved her. At home, Rachel melted with Peter's niece, watching him interact with her. Rachel said he was more reserved around his family, but she connected with Mom and Sissy. Rachel said she was committed to a man, and NOT the proposal.
DEAN... Rachel jumped him when she first saw him. She does that ALOT. It was D's first visit home in 2 years. He is “troubled,” as Big Daddy would say. His dad is really bizarre. Dressed like some Shaman. No communication with Dean. Dad hit the gong and said Dean had a lack of energy and power. Then Dean proceeded to go off on his dad, and dad simply walked away. I can sum it up in 1 word: BAGGAGE. He also didn’t tell her he loved her.
Rose ceremony: First of all, her metallic blue eye make-up was HIDEOUS. Nothing we’ve seen before. Mercy. Rachel has feelings for all 4 men. Bryan was the ONLY one to say I love you. With Dean, she said he was a big surprise...but then she dumped him. She seemed to be hemming and hawing thru the entire ceremony. Dean was obviously upset in Limo...saying he'd found true love...So, why didn't he say so to Rachel? I can sum it up: he was shell shocked by visit to his family.
I know a lot is riding on this commentary... May I disavow myself?
NO YOU MAY NOT, GRAN, THIS IS AMAZING.
Guys, be sure and comment to tell Gran what a good job she did. Also she sent me THIS in the mail the other day, and if you’ve ever spent more than sixteen seconds with me, you know I LOVE some good drapery. Coupled with Lilly Pulitzer = the DREAM.
Three cheers for Gran!
If you're a bird, I'm a bird...